I’ve hit a wall

 Ladies, Gents I’ve hit a wall it’s not a big wall more of a small stony wall you could jump over but still manage to scrape your knees on.

 Here’s my dilemma after all the pushing I haven’t been ill in so long I feel great blah blah blah… my positivity has come round and bit me on the arse I’m so poorly and it is making me so sad. I’ve been doing so well no colds, viruses for months then boom I woke up last week thinking it might just be better for everyone if I was to chop off my head and feed it to the dog. Do you think she would eat it or know it was mine and be like meahh probably shouldn’t?

Anyway this has totally mentally (as seen above) and physically thrown me out of sync I feel so tired and blue I actually think I am radiating blue hues and all I want is carbs mainly buttery toast but white buttery toast you know like your Nan gives you with a cup of tea with five sugars to ‘warm your belly’. I want a warm belly!

 It’s so confusing, I’m the perfect muse for a Katy Perry song I want a leg out the duvet, I don’t, I like soup, I don’t like soup, I want carbs, carbs make me sick, I want carbs whyyyyy… Whyyyy must I be tortured at this stage?

Don’t worry though there is light at the end of the tunnel. One thing I have noticed is I haven’t fallen victim to the white buttery bread. My subconscious  the little healthy wannabe jumps in and goes ‘Ohh no you don’t put down the Warburtons and walk away Worthington’ Does this mean my habits are changing have I broken the spell of mind over matter.. It appears so what do you say to that?

I feel like I am changing guys I’m low I’m in the navy zone of blues but I’m making better decisions this got me thinking at what point did my body and mind sync together to start making better decisions for me without conscious me even realising. Now I’m not a scientist or psychologist so Google obviously came in handy but it appears it takes from 21 days to 8 weeks and if you want to be exact it’s actually 66 days according to Health Psychology Researcher Phillippa Lally for an old habit to disappear and a new one to begin to gel. I think that is pretty awesome you can train your own brain without even realising, your brain doesn’t control you it’s a little like ‘the chimp paradox’ if you haven’t read it i’d download a sample and see what you think.. So interesting!

Now I always just thought it’s in my DNA to enjoy pies, gravy and stodge just because I’m northern that my greediness was just who I was. But nope it’s a habit I’ve developed over time due to crappy decisions. Now I have to say this little nugget of info has filled me with a lot of confidence when trying new things and it’s also ringing true I’ve always been a bit of a wimp but if I can stick it out for 66 days who knows I may have a chance of defeating the demons. I could take up morning runs, outdoor swimming, rock climbing… Who knows the world is my oyster!

But not right now… Right now I need my duvet 😉


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I'm Alex, a 26-year-old Lifestyle Blogger from Manchester. Once upon a time piling on the pounds, I'm now I'm changing my lifestyle for a healthier better me. I've tried it all, the juice diets, sirtfood diets, 5:2 diets you name it I've done it. My aim is to tell you all about it, but I guarantee we will get distracted along the way.

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