So a whole while ago (10days) I told you all how I was starting to feel better! YAY! I was but then it was Friday and I got home and I did something I swore I would never do…I cried about my weight.
I was due to go to the driving range with my boyfriend when I was faced with the question we all fear – what should I wear? Before I knew it I was a blubbering ball on the bed worrying that anything I chose I would have to lift my arms which will result in the golfing enthusiast, Friday night date nighters and the lads just having a swing seeing my belly wobbling about all over the place.
I hadn’t been to the gym in nearly 2 weeks my diet went to pot because I couldn’t stomach food I was bloated from lack of food and realistically I was never going to be up to scratch. Yeah you try telling me this as I blubbed in the mirror over analysing my wobble wondering how on earth my boyfriend wanted to be with me, how I’d let myself go in such a short space of time, how I couldn’t do it anymore, how I wanted to crawl into bed and cry right through to Monday. That’s until Jon sat down to comfort me and said
“Babe what would that girl do on your phone screen (he meant my latest fitspo Kelsey – @mysweatlife) she wouldn’t sit in bed feeling sorry for herself would she? She’d get up get dressed and get out into the fresh air and hit some golf balls” It took a moment or two but he was so right and so wonderful all at the same time I blubbed a little more at how supportive he is of me and why does he put up with my tantrums, then before I knew it I was at the driving range. Not going to lie I couldn’t hit that ball to save my life that day. I was all over consumed by my thoughts and how I’d just wasted a good 1.5 hours of my new none poorly energy crying about how I looked.
I have to say I spent the rest of the evening feeling a little sorry for myself then enough was enough by Saturday I realised I need to be doing a lot more if I want to reach my goal by my holiday and no more crying! I dug out my old (last-year-old another thing I bought and never used) Kayla Itsiness Bikini Body Guide and that was it I was getting FIT! I planned my calendar around her exercise regime joined a new gym, a whole different story. I won’t slate anyone but my old gym was a shocker so I’m super pleased and happy now to be a member of @TheGymGroup I spent a week getting my rhythm back, healthy meals, long walks, a little cardio some yoga and then began Kayla Week 1.
Jesus… I have not felt pain like that in a long time! For those that don’t know Kayla has a whole guide to getting you fabulous and within it contains 2 – 3 days of circuits ( resistance training) and my god is it tough. My body ached I had sweat dripping off my head splatting me in the face as I completed my push-ups, my arms shook attempting tricep dips and then Wednesday was ab day I didn’t even know you could feel muscles in the side of your body. My glutes were rock solid and screamed DON’T DO ITTT every time I attempted to sit down. I’m not proud of this but I considered peeing stood up like a man it was a low point I know. But I persevered and I’m about to embark on Week 2 I’m 5ibs lighter my brain is back in action my arms are toning and my little plump face is finally slimming down… I officially hereby refuse to ever cry at myself again in the mirror and put myself through so much torture! We all have bad days but you get up and get on with it…
So my motto for this week ‘Why be Moody when you can shake ya Booty’ don’t be sad get-up and move about you will get back into the swing of it.. No clouds last forever!