There’s over 100k people talking about Victoria Beckham’s latest post in Vogue released on Wednesday – Dear Victoria: Mrs Beckham Pens A Letter To Her 18-Year-Old Self. It’s not the first post we have seen where celebrities tell their younger selves the lessons they have learned growing up. But I guess this article struck a chord with me because I always sore Victoria Beckham as a bit of a role model in my early years. She was a skinny celebrity that was high in the spotlight and when I was younger there wasn’t a lot of those around apart from Kate Moss, I wasn’t cool enough to understand Kate Moss and as a gangly stick thin 13 year old who had no boobs and still fit into children’s trousers I needed VB to look up too. People weren’t very nice to Victoria about her weight just like people weren’t that nice to me about mine, so I guess that’s why I looked up to her so much. From the outside it didn’t appear to bother her and she acted with grace and wore killer heels. What’s not too love at 13 and even now as an adult. I still admire her, the way she has overcome public humiliation who can forget the Rebecca Loss scandal, she didn’t let it defeat her and she explains why in her letter. Her incredibly successful fashion empire, whats not to admire about that. Her beautiful family that are so heavily featured in the spot light yet still act with class.
So after thinking about all the reasons I love VB it got me thinking geez… what would I tell my younger self. I know I’m not probably at the age where I have many lessons to share but I’ve made it 26 years and I guess I have learnt a few things along the way. There are some memories I wish I could forget and there are 100’s of memories I will cherish forever and as I get older I’m still learning.
So here it is here’s 5 things I would tell my younger self so far.
Weight isn’t the be all and end all
As a teenager all you want is to fit in you don’t want to be left alone in the corner. So as some of the girls began growing boobs and wearing cooler clothes I was still in a training bra screaming silently GROWWW you f**kers. All my clothes had to be taken in because they were too baggy. I could never borrow friends clothes for parties and join in the dress up pre party, I always had to be pre prepared and pre shopped. I remember being off school once for a week with tonsillitis I came back to find I had apparently been in rehab for anorexia ( The imagination of some 15 year olds is just wild) I was so upset and so hurt by the fact that people believed this. I was just naturally slim I played a lot of sport and I guess I had a metabolism I would happily pay for now. I was so conscious of my weight. People can forget that it’s not just the bigger girls that have worries us skinny little teenagers also hated their bodies. But guess what.. as you get older your body changes, you will grow boobs and if you don’t who cares I have them now and they look dreadful in a slinky silk vest and now all I worry about is getting too fat. Stop worrying so much about weight be healthy and be happy. Your body looks after you every single day, it makes your heart beat and your legs move don’t abuse it for vanity.
Tell your mum you love her more
I behaved badly as a teenager, not all the time but I acted out because I didn’t always have the best time at home. I didn’t want to be home I wanted to be out with my friends leaving my problems behind so I would do anything I could to get away. I ran away more times than you can count on one hand I would drink alcohol too much and I would shout at my mum when she came for me and she would always find me I still wonder how to this day. I would tell her I hated her. I didn’t hate her I just hated the situation and that’s what I should of said. I love her lot and I admire her strength but that’s something I have come to appreciate as I got older. At 15 I didn’t understand, I resented her parenting but instead I should of loved her for it she had problems too and maybe she needed me around for support from time to time. All she wanted was to protect me and guess what she actually knew what she was talking about. She was always the one that was there at the end of the day to support me through my problems to wipe my tears when I was upset and she always taught me to stand on my own two feet and the world was my own to take if I wanted it. She gave me the confidence to do some of the things in my career I could of only dreamed of, too push myself into the unknown and always reminded me there is no obstacle too high that you can’t defeat. I love her every single day for it.
Talk more don’t be so angry
As you have seen above my home life wasn’t too great it was nice and shiny on the outside but unfortunately it was a huge grey cloud and we had some terrible times. Instead of being angry, I was so so angry, I would act out my temper was high and I lived on egg shells. I would never ever talk about this, it took until my 20’s to work out talking isn’t bad it’s good it’s soothing and therapeutic. You don’t need to be angry to be heard a fiery temper has never resulted in good moments. Neither has hiding behind your problems, discuss them, tell those closest too you how you feel. Even if they can’t help it’s good to air it out and then people will understand more about why you possibly reacted the way you did to a problem. If anything now I am probably an over sharer and guess what I don’t care, I no longer carry problems on my shoulders and I’ve learnt how to tackle situations with tact and grace. My brain has much more space now to focus on the good rather than battling the bad.
Celebrate your success
I’m very good at down playing my achievements I don’t want to appear to be a show off or a bragger but do you know what you have worked hard to achieve what you have and why shouldn’t you shout it from the roof tops. I didn’t think I would make it through university but guess what I did and with a fantastic grade, I never thought I would be offered the chance to appear on TV but guess what I was and it resulted in being given one of the most fantastic jobs in the world, oh and you trended on twitter “Do you really want to give 3 seconds to an orange” Yes me all me and it was through my hard work and dedication to wanting to do more with my life, why shouldn’t you be proud of yourself. If I could go back in time I would of screamed from the roof tops. In order to be heard you have to showcase what you have done and make it known. I still struggle with this so I guess this is me telling me you go for it and why shouldn’t you!
Be confident and be strong
Don’t overthink things you actually know what you are talking about, you have learnt a lot and have a lot of experience. If you know it’s right you stand by it don’t let others beat you down to question your abilities and your answers. Be confident in yourself and always be one step ahead for those that need to know more. Don’t shy away from conflict, there will be many confrontational moments but don’t hide, stand strong and defend what you believe in. Don’t take the easy way out to avoid a heated moment, the heat will pass and everyone will get back to what they were originally doing. It’s ok to speak your mind and to have opinions that don’t match other people’s it’s what makes the world go around but know the facts an idiot can easily pull you down to their level if you don’t actually know what you are talking about, don’t be made to look a fool.
I could go on and on and on… But I won’t I think that’s enough for today! I feel like I have just had a session with a therapist. As I’ve looked back at some of the mistakes I have made growing up and think about all of the ones I am still to make, would I change them? Some possibly, the really bad ones but not the ones that have shaped me into who I am. Growing up is hard work it doesn’t come with instructions, you don’t have a little person on your shoulders guiding you to make the right choices and decisions , just go with your instinct if you know it’s wrong it probably is. But most importantly have fun, you may never get these moments back don’t waste your days by sticking to the rule book some rules are made to be broken.
Follow me on Facebook – AlexzandraJade
Twitter – @AlexWorthington